18 November 2017

From the Dream Archives: All that We See or Seem Is but a Dream Within a Dream (Within a Dream)


Basically, this dream began with me going back to my old high school to finish off my high school education. This is a recurring dream theme of mine – going back to my old school, where I was expelled back in 2004, the only student there in his twenties, with all the classmates I knew from way back when long gone, leaving me peerless and lonely.

Anyway, in these dreams, I usually just go through the motions. I may be searching for someone or a photograph of someone I knew from the past,

but otherwise I handle myself well under the circumstances. This time, however, this time I had a nervous breakdown. I started screaming that I shouldn’t be there, that if it weren’t for all the bullshit I had gone through, I would’ve graduated years ago.

That’s when the dream got really bizarre. Suddenly, it was revealed that I wasn’t really myself and that none of this was really happening. I was really a teenaged kid – fourteen or fifteen – who resembled a young Rod Taylor,

the adopted son of a lesbian couple, who had suffered a psychotic break, leading me to believe I was a completely different, older person.

Oh, but the weirdness really jacked up from there. I then slipped on a red visor,

and in doing so I was able to perceive another person in another world; this person was me – not the teenaged Rod Taylor me, but the me-me.

Only I was dressed like a man from the '50s – with short, slicked-back hair, attired in a neat black suit

– and I was seated in a chair, hooked up to a virtual reality machine.

So, to make it clear, the dream was about this: A 1950s version of myself was hooked up to a virtual reality machine, causing me to experience a VR simulation where I was a teenaged Rod Taylor, who was suffering delusions of being a far older man, who was suffering a mental breakdown as a result of having to go back to his old high school.

(I think Philip K. Dick would’ve been proud of this dream.)

17 November 2017

Return of Tales from the Gimpy Hospital

This rather unpleasant dream began with me spying a haggard man wandering around my backyard.

(He looked like the character Chick Hogan from Bates Motel.)

My family took this man to be a prowler, lurking about. However, once I saw him right out back – in plain sight – but my sister didn’t, it became clear I was hallucinating.

In short order, I was brought to a psychiatric hospital. Upon being diagnosed with schizophrenia, they assigned me a doctor and started treating me with drugs. The drugs did very little for me, however, and I soon began experiencing perpetual states of altered consciousness.

(It's what I imagine a bad acid trip to be like, only without the prospect of the trip ever ending.)

On top of the schizophrenia, I turned out to have dissociative identity disorder, too; I manifested a split personality – a female personality who was incredibly foul-mouthed and violent.

Due to these factors, they had me restrained to my bed, though I found ways to wriggle loose.

"Smooth as shit from a duck's ass."

My attending doctor appeared to me in two different forms. First she appeared to me as Rosie O’Donnell.


Then she appeared to me as a young, long-haired Jamie Lee Curtis.

(Much better.)

10 October 2017

My Pyrokinetic, Mass-Murdering Surrogate Son

The following is quite possibly the most visceral, heartwrenching dream I've ever had. As such, I'd like to go in-depth relating its sequence of events. However, a month has passed since I had this specific dream, relegating the minutiae to Hypnos' dustbin. Hence I'm forced to defer to brevity in this instance.


and Laura Bertram

were combined into a single woman.

(I shall call her "Launia".)

Launia and I were soulmates, yet not lovers.

Launia married Ricky Mabe.

Together they had a son. This son, whom I loved as if he were my own, grew up to become a pyrokinetic mass murderer.

(Such awful fashion sense. As a surrogate father, I feel betrayed.)

Various Marvel superheroes were out to capture him.

(They will succeed. They always do.)

30 September 2017

From the Dream Archives: Let's Carve Ourselves a Witch, Son/Love Bus Stop


I took a nap today, ended up having a most memorable dream.

It began with me hanging out with my son. He was three or four and looked like Robert Sean Leonard.

I was feeling joyous, happy 'cause I knew this meant I was married. Though she didn't make an appearance in the dream,

I knew right away who my wife was.

Then the dream turned strange. A witch showed up,

threatening to harm my son. At that point I transformed into Ash from the Evil Dead series.

I picked up an old musket with a bayonet attached at the end,

stabbed the witch through the eye and out the back of her head, pinning her to the wall behind her. That's when a second Ash showed up

and began dismembering her with a chainsaw.

The dream then realigned.

I found myself a teenager back in high school.

As I got off the bus at school, there was this incredibly hot girl standing there on the sidewalk.

She was brunette or dark blonde, moderately muscular, clad in a tank top and jean cutoffs.


I sat down with her on the pavement and began feeling her up. Just when we were preparing to undress and have sex right then and there in public, my psychological V-chip engaged and the dream drew to a climax.

(But I didn't. 😣)

22 September 2017

Labyrinth of Legends

Once upon a time, there was the Earth.

And on the Earth was Man.

And Man had dominion over every beast in the field and bird in the air and fish in the sea.

Then Man breached the barriers between the Earth and Todash Space,

and the demoniac hordes were loosed upon the Earth,

and the Earth was made waste and empty.

Then the Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea sent his son, Aslan,

to renew the face of the Earth. Aslan planted a glen in the midst of the Waste Lands, and taking the last of every wondrous and holy creature, filled it, setting bars all along the Glen to shield it from the Todash monsters and their minions.

A young maiden was brought to the Glen stables,

(We'll call her Sarah-Lily.)

where she was put in charge of caring for the sacred unicorn, last of its kind.

Sarah-Lily, entranced by the unicorn's purity, came to love the creature.

In the Waste Lands, in the Dark Kingdom, there reigned Jareth -- Dark Prince of the Goblins.

(And a million fangirls cried out in pleasure and suddenly climaxed.)

Jareth came to know of the unicorn and the magical powers it wielded. Coveting the beast, Jareth set about appearing in Sarah-Lily's dreams. Speaking to her in velvet tones, he promised all his love and his glory to her if she would but take the unicorn from the Glen and ride out upon it to his castle.Very innocent, just as naive, Sarah-Lily succumbed to Jareth's charm and fell deeply in love with the Dark Prince. Doing as her beloved requested, Sarah-Lily saddled up the unicorn and took it from the stables. A stable boy

(I was wondering when I was supposed to appear in my own dream.)

noticed her slip out with the unicorn and decided to see where she was off to. Keeping himself hidden, the stable boy followed her as she rode through the Glen, out the gate, into the Dead Wood.

Travelling along the path through the Dead Wood surrounded by overgrown, lifeless trees which choked out the very sky, Sarah-Lily soon saw Jareth in the distance. Jareth, atop a black Clydesdale steed, held aloft a scepter bearing a crystal globe scintillating with silver light. As Sarah-Lily slowly approached her prince, mesmerized in his physical presence, the stable boy emerged from cover of the underbrush and ran up to the maiden. Shouting at her, cursing her, he managed to rouse her from Jareth's spell. No longer bewitched by the Dark Prince, she turned right 'round and kicked the unicorn into a full gallop back for the Glen.

Sarah-Lily managed to get back to the safety of the Glen grounds, but the stable boy wasn't so fortunate. Without the speed of a steed to assist his gait, he failed to make it to the gate in time before Jareth called on his magic to close it, sealing the boy off from sanctuary. Chanting an incantation, the Dark Prince cast an unbreakable sphere of solid vacuum over the boy, sealing his fate.

01 September 2017

From the Dream Archives: Cousin Sonja: Sorceress Seductress Supreme/Hell Hath No Fury Like a Lycanthrope Scorned/American Revenant/Attack of the Mutant Leaky-Ceiling Yellow Jackets/Leave Michael & Heather Alone/Giorgio Tsoukalos Combs His Hair


Had a particularly disconcerting dream where I lost my virginity to a Russian first cousin named Sonja.

I must have been an inglorious lover, 'cause she turned out to be a vindictive witch -- literally. She conjured vicious mountain lions up before me and caused the local clinic doctors to be dangerously unsanitary.

Suffice to say, I enjoyed the first half of the dream. The second, not so much.

* * *


Had a peculiar dream wherein I was a character in a horror film.

If I recall the sequence of events correctly, my reluctant werewolf ex-lover betrayed me to her extended family of loup-garou. They promptly slaughtered me.

* * *


A word to the wise: Don't stay up to 8:00 AM. If you do, you're liable to have nightmares about being strangled by a putrescent, undead Patrick Bateman.

* * *


Was woken this morning by a somewhat disturbing dream.

In my dream, after having jets of rancid rainwater wash over my face from my leaky bedroom ceiling,

more of the ceiling caved in, revealing giant yellow jacket nests in the rafters above.

(And I don't just mean that the nests were gigantic; the wasps themselves were supersized.)

I think my subconscious is trying to tell me that I utterly loathe my bedroom and yellow jackets. 

(Why it bothered, I'll never know. I was already consciously aware of my hatred for both.)

* * *


Dreamt that a young Michael Jackson

(Okay, not this young.)

and Heather Langenkamp


starred in a movie together, playing lovers caught in a Romeo & Juliet-type situation. The dream/movie even came complete with a version of Jackson's "Leave Me Alone" music video co-starring Ms. Langenkamp.

(A more involving part, I'm sure, than the one she had in this video.)

Clancy Brown was cast as the main villain,

(Surprise, surprise.)

with Jack Purvis and a dwarf version of Jean Smart in supporting roles.

 * * *


Dreamt a dream wherein I was a teenage student in a high school science class. Giorgio Tsoukalos was brought in as a guest speaker.

(Oddly enough, his hair was combed and neat.)